Friday, September 3, 2010
Module 1: Neutralizing Student Arguing
Welcome to our first discussion topic. Earlier in the week we introduced the Love and Logic class and discussed Module 1: Neutralizing Student Arguing. We appreciate the input you gave, sharing both struggles we've had in this area as well as methods of neutralizing the arguing. Over next week, please take a few moments to discuss (and write down) methods you've used in the past to prevent power struggles with students. Also, reflect on the first few days of school and discuss one Love and Logic principle you've used to help a student or maintain your own sanity. Please use the comment section below for all discussions. Thanks and good luck!
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The "one-liner" approach seemed to work for me with one student so far this year. Although there haven't been too many power struggles within the first 3 days of school, I did have one student try to resist working in a group. He tried to argue why it is better to work individually and I simply said, "I'm sorry, that's the way it is. I'm sorry, that's the way it is. etc...." The approach seemed to work because the student did eventually work with others in his group and the one-liner did settle the frustration down (on both my level and the student's).
ReplyDeleteWhen I get a student who complains about getting homework, or is not interested in working in class, I remind them that "I care too much about them and their future to set such low academic expectations". The first 2 weeks of school have been really great, but as the personalities and different strengths of the kids surface, I plan to use more "one liners" to neutralize frustration.
ReplyDeleteI have found the one liners to be effective on most of my students. Though I have had very few arguments so far, I have used one liners to neutralize situations that could escalate. For example, I had a student who was given a direction, but decided to join my group in a different room because he wanted to sit down. Once I was made aware of this, I asked the student where he was supposed to be. He told me upstairs doing envelopes. I then said, that's a bummer we are going to have to do something about this. He pouted for a little bit (which I ignored), but did return to our other classroom where Amy followed up with him. I have also found it effective to use the vocabulary from love and logic prior to their being arguments, behaviors, or conflict so I know that students understand the vocabulary (ex. "I bet that would be a bummer.")
ReplyDeleteI have one student who can bring some drama in the classroom. I have had this student before, and I know he does need to vent in order to go forward. I am understanding of this, but also don't want to take lots of time from the learning of others. So I will let him vent for a bit and use lines like "that is a bummer" followed by somthing like, "lets talk more in a bit". This gives the student time to get some feelings out as well as lets him know he is valued and will get a chance to talk more about the situation later.
ReplyDeleteI witnessed an incident this morning when a teacher could have been successful in neutralizing an argument using a one-liner. The teacher asked the student if they had their permission slip and that it was required for the trip the next day. The student kept going on and on about how stupid the rule was, the teacher should call his mom, etc. The teacher continued to argue with the student to no avail. I believe a better approach would have been to simply repeat...I know...I know...I know...but in the end we still need the permission slip by tomorrow morning.
ReplyDeleteAnother incident with the same student in the class this morning caught my attention. I was helping another student when I overheard the student talking about his volunteer placement and he seemed to be using inappropriate language about the students he was working with, possibly students with disabilities. A few students seemed uncomfortable with what he said, but I did not hear it clearly, so rather than address him in front of the entire class I walked over, sat down, and asked him to repeat what he had said. According to his response, we had heard him wrong, and I explained to him that he needs to be careful with his words as they can be misinterpreted.
I have used one liners with students off and on since first attending a love and logic seminar 10+ years ago. I find they are effective if you can find the right one to use with each student. I use Bummer and So, often and even use, "it is what it is". Students don't particularly like that one because they feel I have some magical power to make other teachers change a test, project or grade by just waiving my special education badge.
ReplyDeleteI have found that when a student is about to engage in a power struggle with me the less I say the better. I try to visualize myself "biting my tongue" (like one sits on their hands when they do not want to use them) as a reminder not to engage in the verbal power struggles. I like the one liners because you do not get sucked into the power struggle yet you do not feel like you are ignoring the student. I think the one liners also work best when I say them then turn or walk away from the student instead of waiting for their response. Then I will come back around to see if they followed through or if I need to continue repeating the one liner. I also often tell students that I available to discuss whatever they want after school or during lunch. That usually stops it and I have never had a student come back to finish the discussion.
ReplyDeleteDuring the first week of school I used the one-liners as I set down the rules of the classroom. I always get a lot of grief since I don't allow backpacks in my classroom. 'Bummer!" Since I didn't give them an opportunity to argue they knew it was firm and they didn't question me. It gave me a lot of confidence.
ReplyDeleteI also had a student who wanted to sit and do nothing when he was supposed to be working on homework. When I asked him to get to it, it was obvious he was out for a fight. When I told him he couldn't leave until he finished it he responded with "you think that is going to make me do it?" Without thinking I turned my shoulder to him (non-confrontational body language), smiled and stated "As long as you get it done by Tuesday, I don't care. I just hope that you take the time to do it now so you don't have to take him home. It's your choice." What was more amazing is I actually dropped it and gave him the chance to take responsibility for his homework(ahhhh.... my sanity). Within 5 minutes when he knew I wasn't going to argue, he finished him homework.
I haven't had too many situations with students arguing or trying to power struggle so far this year. But, the idea of ignoring the content of the argument and repeating one key phrase (the "broken record" technique) has been helpful in the past. If a student resists direction I give them, and complains about it, I simply repeat the expectation/request over and over until they (at least grudginly) comply. It works because the resisting student realizes that I'm serious about the direction and won't change my expectation, and also won't spend time trying to argue and/or offer a rationale for what I'm asking. And, it gets the other students attention. At first they're surprised and think I've lost my mind, and then they often get annoyed enough to positively encourage the resistant peer to follow the direction so "we can just move on with what we need to do."
ReplyDeleteThe biggest problem I run into is trying to justify an expectation with a student who might disagree. It has been much easier to repeat what is required of them. If at a later time when the rest of the band isn't waiting around, or at a time when they they aren't supposed to be playing they want to discuss options, reasons etc. that is fine. This way they see more quickly that the expectations will not change because of their complaints, and they stop trying.
ReplyDeleteI really have not needed to use any of the love and logic principles this year so far, I've been pretty fortunate in that the students I have don't seem to be carrying any baggage, or in the mood for an argument. Since this is my first exposure to the Love and Logic principles, I can't really say that I knowingly used them in the past. I have used one liners in the past, and they seem to work with most students, but not always. I think the tactic that has worked best for me is to calmly say to the student "sounds great, we'll discuss it after class" then add "try not to worry about it", then let it drop. After all the other students have left, most students don't seem to want to argue much.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to using one-liners to neutralize student arguing, I incorporate the next direction in them, if possible. Sometimes student begin working on the next item while finishing up their side of the arguements, without realizing they have transitioned and are now doing exactly as they are supposed to. Plus, they got the "last word" on how they felt about the previous argument in their minds so they still feel some power.
ReplyDelete